


Hello, My Almost Lover

by Justme_iguess



Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Dorks in Love, Fix-It, Hes just really sad, Hurt/Comfort, Jealousy, M/M, Peter my boi is in pain, Peters got it bad, Sexual Tension, ish, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-21
Updated: 2017-10-21
Packaged: 2019-01-20 23:35:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12444399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Justme_iguess/pseuds/Justme_iguess
Summary: Peter has never felt more invisible.





	Hello, My Almost Lover

 

Peter has never felt more invisible.

 

 

That's saying something for a man in the kind of work he gets up to. He spends most of his time trying to blend in. Trying to pretend that he isn't there. He prides himself in being unrecognizable. Normally he loves when he sees someone that cannot see him, but right here? Right now? He thinks he's having a nightmare.

 

 

He's pretending to be a bartender, fixing another woman a drink. Now his fists are so clenched that he's certain his nails are going to cut through his skin. He wants to say something, anything in his outrage but he _can't_. Partly because this is a public place, and partly because Juno isn't even supposed to know that he's on mars in the first place.

 

 

And there he is, across the room, looking beautiful as ever. His curls are in his dark eye. One is filled with color, it seems that he took Peter's advice and got himself a cybernetic eye. He's wearing a skimpy dress that one could hardly call a dress, with fishnet tights and leg garters. It makes Nureyev hot under his collar, seeing him all dolled up, but it makes him more angry than turned on. Because while some stranger dances with him, trailing his fingers from his jawline to his thigh, all he can think about is how does shouldn't even have the right to be jealous. When Juno left him, he made his intentions crystal clear. He keeps thinking that it should have been _him_ having Juno grind back into a lap, and throwing his head onto a shoulder. Juno said that he loved _him._ Not some person in too much dark clothing.

 

 

He can hardly take his eyes off of him, this one man who shattered his heart. This man with crosshatching scars who broke his heart so thoroughly, he daresays _it broke him_.

 

 

When they finally make their way closer to the bar, the man offers Juno a drink. He lets him, and the whole time he's turned away from Peter. He hasn't even seen him. Nureyev drinks in the sight of him, with light scars, and a gaze upturned towards the bursting lights of a club at midnight. His face is a little flushed from either his partner, or a lot of dancing. His lips are a dark maroon color, striking, it makes Peter want to kiss that color away. There are earrings in his ears, and Peter didn't even know that Juno had them pierced. He looks at the lights from under long eyelashes, and he's so handsome right then, that Nureyev feels warmth bursting in his chest.

 

 

"A ring of Saturn for the little lady." the man says, leaning over the counter. Peter wants nothing more than to chuck the drink he's making right into his head. His smiling teeth are grit, and now, more than ever, he wants to take out his knife and _hurt someone_. Instead, he swallows his pride and jealousy. He makes the drink and hands it to the man, who gives him a card.

 

 

He doesn't know what to do, because Just a yard and a half away, on the other side of this counter, Juno is there. He thought he'd gotten over him. A year and three months later, and all it takes is seeing him in a sleazy club. That's all it takes before all Peter wants to do is duck into the bathroom and sob his eyes out.

 

 

Soon Juno and that man are dancing again, and soon after that. They're kissing up against a wall. He's got his wrist pinned above his head, and a leg wrapped around that hip. It just hurts. It hurts so bad that Peter feels like his heart is getting ripped out all over again. He can't take it. His shift is over anyways, so he quickly gets out. He walks through the door, and as soon as he's away from people (meaning the alleyway right next to the club) he lets the tears fall. What comes out are ugly sobs and animal noises. Juno made his message clear, by all rights he shouldn't feel this way. He shouldn't be so jealous that he wants to kill someone. He shouldn't be so angry that he wants to scream. He shouldn't be so upset that he's pathetically crying in an alleyway.

 

 

The wipes at his face and takes a deep breath. He wonders if he'll ever get over Juno Steel.

 

 

Speak of the devil, Peter thinks as the man walks into the alley. "I said _leave me alone._ Prob-ly can't get that through your thick skull." he's wearing a jacket now for the cold. Its a dark green color under the streetlights.

 

 

"C'mon, baby I just wanna take you home."

 

 

"And I already told you. I changed my mind."

 

 

"A guy doesn't dance like that unless he wants something." he's got Juno backed into a corner now. "Stop playing hard to get."

 

 

"I'm not, I just-" the guy grabs Juno's wrist hard enough that it hurts. Even in the dark he can see the pain in his eye. Their mouths collide forcefully.

 

 

Peter's over there in a second, pushing him off Juno, who immediately takes the opportunity to throw a punch. The man toppled onto the floor, wide eyes. Nureyev pulls a knife from his sleeve, and points it towards the man's throat. Even in shock, they work well together.

 

 

"Listen carefully," Peter says, with his voice as controlled as it can be. He can see his Adams apple bounce with a swallow. "When someone tells you no, you listen. The next time you _don't listen."_ he swipes his knife against his throat. Deep enough to leave a scar. But not enough to kill.

 

 

He swallows again. "Right."

 

 

"Get the fuck out of here." Juno snaps. His voice is shaking and rough.

 

 

He scurries away, Juno breathing heavy. "What are you doing here, Nureyev?" he sounds less angry, and more filled with wonder. His words are slurred only a bit.

 

 

"Nothing to do with you, rest assured." the smaller man flinches a little at the snap. "Speaking of which, you ought to be more careful, detective."

 

 

"Yeah, well I'll keep it in mind." he still looks so pretty under the moonlight. His eye is caught in it, and his curls shine underneath.

 

 

And suddenly, Peter can't take it anymore. He's waited so long, he needs answers. He's angry and jealous and he feels like he's going to scream if he doesn't get them. "Why did you leave, Juno?" he doesn't think he's heard his voice sound so vulnerable in the last decade.

 

 

"I-" he purses his lips. "Can we get outta this alley first?"

 

 

"Do you need a ride home?"

 

 

"That would be nice."

 

 

"Certainly." their conversation is too stiff. Too filled with awkwardness, and uncertainty.

 

 

Once they're in Peter's car, and they start driving, Juno starts talking. "I'm sorry. What I did, it wasn't right and I know that. It was less about you, and it was more about me. I know that sounds like something off of Rita's soaps, but I'm being serious." he sighs, and runs fingers through his hair. "I was scared, alright? We kept talking about everything out there, everything outside of this dump. Leaving all of it behind its just- its not something I can do."

 

 

Peter stops at a light, and looks at Juno. He's leaning into the seat, his arms tight over his chest. The streetlights illuminate and bounce off his features. "Why not, Juno?"

 

 

He bites his lip, and _god_ if he knew what that did to Peter. "I don't wanna run towards something I know I can't have. I don't wanna keep trying and trying to be happy for forever, when that's just not gonna happen. Life isn't a movie or a goddamn fairytale, Nureyev. There are no happy endings. There isn't any light at the end of the tunnel or whatever." he takes a deep breath. "I'm not gonna chase after a future that can't happen."

 

 

The car is moving again, and he can hear Juno shifting in his seat. "How do you know if you don't _try,_ Juno?"

 

 

"I've seen it a million times, Nureyev. You're gonna get tired of me and all my shit, or you'll die, or something bad will happen and it'll be over. I'm not over thinking it, I'm being logical." he doesn't sound convinced of that, though. "I'm just tired of trying to be happy when that just won't happen. Not with me. I don't even deserve it in the first place."

 

 

Suddenly, Nureyev doesn't know what to say. It all just sounds so understandable. If he had know that Juno felt this way he would have... Well, he doesn't know. He would have done something, though. 

 

 

He drives into the parking lot. Peter gets out, and then goes over to the other side, to get the door for Juno. 

 

 

He snorts. "Chivalry?"

 

 

"Manners." he concedes. "What kind of gentleman would I be if I didn't get the door for a lady." they're so close now, he can feel his heart beating in his throat.

 

 

That eye. So beatiful, with long lashes, and looking straight back. He feels as though the world tips on it's axis. Its filled with wonder and devotion, love and fear. Peter takes a deep, shaky breath. He doesn't remember the last time he felt so powerless. His limbs have turned to jelly, and there's a tightness in his chest that he can't ignore.

 

 

They're kissing now, he doesn't remember when it started, or who even started it. He'd be lying if he said he cared. Peter has a hand on his waist that pulls Juno closer. Their mouths open, and he doesn't want to admit how badly he missed this. The messy warmth of Juno kissing him back, the tremble he feels. He knows he's standing on his toes to reach Peter's lips.

 

 

Its so much of what he missed. Juno's arms are around his neck, pulling him closer and closer. Its going to hurt later. All of this, chapped lipsticked lips on his own will be missed so much. It rushes back so many memories. The first time they kissed, and the night before Juno left him without so much as a note.

 

 

"Juno." he breathes.

 

 

He sighs, looking more towards the sky than to the man in front of him. "Nureyev." he squeezes his eyes tight. "Maybe we can try again. I dunno, like maybe you can come back sometimes. Here. You don't have to, really! That would just be really cool. I know you like going out, and seeing what the galaxy's got to offer, but you can come here when its all done. With me."

He's babbling, _the darling_ , and he would keep going if Peter didn't stop him with a smile. 

 

His brain short circuits before he has time to respond. He can't keep a smile from sticking, or the giddiness from his voice. "That would be lovely, Juno."

**Author's Note:**

> This work was mostly inspired by That last chapter of The Case Files of J Steel. Also I love thinking of Juno in a pretty dress
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> Comment what u think!!!


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